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I have known, as many have, the pain and saddness of being accused of infidelity, both as pastor and otherwise. When love turns against one with such suspicion, the knife can stab deeply. Such hostility that one calls into question love and faithfulness is a deep saddness to the soul. Yet, be assured that such arises from the other person feeling a lack of love for himself or herself. Indeed, the more loyal we are in our love and the more we have a healthy respect for ourselves, the less we will be open to having jealousy.
Well, Joseph and Jesus show us that we should not be overly surprised at the possibility that our love can be questioned, our loyalty disowned, and our person betrayed.
Lent is a time to enter into the themes and stories that will prepare us for Holy Week. And the stories of Joseph and Jesus invite us to explore the role of love and unlove in our lives. We can explore the nature of our love, and acknowledge ways our love has been refused due to jealousy.
What is most important is not to surrender your dignity before the assault of jealousy against you. A dear friend urged me to transcend such, not allowing barbs of jealousy or accusation to pull me down to that level. With a determination to act Christlike, I affirmed to the other person continuing love, fidelity, and availability. Immediately, I was freed of a heavy burden. I knew I had acted Christlike, and I could be free of any lingering negative attachment.
I feel so strongly about this spiritual principle that I write of, I highlight it for your prayerful thoughtfulness:
When you respond with kindness to harmfulness, you free yourself from the spiritual consequences of the harmfulness. You turn aside the attempted effort to tie you into the knot of unlove. Your love transcends the unlove.
You, also, participate in helping free the other person. If you agree to the dance of hostility, you are wronging both the other person and yourself. Beyond that, you sin against Love.
Well, does this mean the other person will soften? No. At times a person may be so against your love - or any love -, he or she will never release the jealousy and blame. Some persons respond to love by becoming more hardened, not softened. You can do nothing about this - this kind of deeply hurt person is beyond all but direct Grace. Nevertheless, you have given him or her a gift of kindness that might, sooner or later, be a part of healing for the person. Until then, consider praying daily for him or her. Such a person much needs the graciousness of a prayer warrior - simply, resolutely refuse to allow his or her actions to deter you from praying in love for him or her, and your being open to hear the person seek reconciliation before God with you.
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